


This Precious Time When Time is New

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance, post-episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-11
Updated: 2014-10-11
Packaged: 2018-02-20 17:25:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2436866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This time the wind was too strong, Emily was battered and bruised. She knew Hotch was as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Precious Time When Time is New

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from the song, _All Through the Night_ by Cyndi Lauper. Spoilers for Haunted.

He stood there for a few moments, he didn’t know how long, listening to the sound of his own breathing. As if struck by something, Hotch rushed for the door. He pulled it open, and stepped outside.

 

“Emily!”

 

She was almost completely down the hall but she heard him. She stopped walking but didn’t turn around. For a moment she felt paralyzed.

 

“Are you alright?” Emily didn’t know where she found the strength to turn around to speak but it was there.

 

“Do you…do you need to go just yet?”

 

“Say the word and I’ll stay.” She started walking toward him.

 

“If you don’t have to go…”

 

Emily wanted to demand that he say it, tell her that he wanted to be with her. They were in love; supposed to be past this. But Hotch pushed her away as soon as he had enough strength to do so. Emily surely couldn’t say she didn’t see it coming…she knew her man. It still hurt though, it hurt like hell. All she could do for her sanity was give him the space he said he needed. 

 

When she called yesterday to say she would pick him up and they would drive to Quantico together, for once Hotch didn’t argue. He told her he didn’t need to be babied; her only response was that she would see him at 9am. This morning was the first time in almost three weeks she’d been inside his place. She didn’t want to share space with boxes and boxes of the exploits of George Foyet. Hell at least she could see the boxes…ghosts usually snuck up on you.

 

“I don’t have to go.” She replied.

 

“OK.” He nodded, standing aside so she could walk back into the apartment.

 

Emily stood in the middle of the room, unsure of how to proceed. She heard Hotch close and lock the door, followed by the obligatory beeping of that new alarm system. Then he was on her. His body was hard against hers; it took every nerve fiber not to melt into him. He brushed her hair aside and kissed the nape of her neck. His hand quickly unbuttoned her jacket, sliding under her shirt to stroke her bare stomach. Emily closed her eyes.

 

“No,” She whispered. “No, Aaron.”

 

“No?” He moved his lips to suck her earlobe.

 

“No.” Gathering her strength, Emily moved away. She turned to look at him with pain in her brown eyes. “What do you think you're doing?”

 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“I don’t want to be that, Aaron. I never want to be that…I refuse.”

 

“Be what?”

 

“A body!” she exclaimed, unable to check her tone.

 

“Well I surely didn’t invite you in here to argue.”

 

Emily bit the side of her mouth to keep from losing it altogether. She closed her eyes, opened them, and focused on him.

 

“Hotch, stop. Take a breath, a deep one, and think before you say anything else.”

 

They stood and faced each other in silence. Hotch crossed his arms, mirroring Emily’s stance. It was defensive; argumentative. He did take a deep breath but still didn’t speak. Emily didn’t either. Finally he closed the gap between them, taking her face in his hands.

 

“I'm sorry.” He whispered.

 

“I just want to help.”

 

“I know that, baby, I know.”

 

“I don’t want to smother you or baby you but your behavior concerns me.”

 

“I'm fine.” Hotch replied.

 

“You're not.” Emily shook her head. “And you know what, that’s not a crime. What would be sad is if you went through this alone. We want to help you; I want to help you. I love you.”

 

“I know, Emily.”

 

“Its not going to be enough, is it?”

 

For two years they’d been doing this dance. There had been plenty of blows and they managed to hold on. This time the wind was too strong, Emily was battered and bruised. She knew Hotch was as well.

 

“Please be patient.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “I don’t think I can do what you need me to do right now.”

 

“All I need is for you to hold on.” Emily replied.

 

“To what?”

 

“To me, to hope, to all of us. We’re going to make this right and we are going to get Jack back.”

 

Hotch nodded, though he didn’t quite believe it. He had difficulty believing anything since his son walked out of his life 42 days ago. He could survive the stab wounds and Foyet’s taunts…being without Jack was a scar that would never heal. No matter how much he loved anyone else, including Emily, his little boy was the sun around which he orbited. He didn’t even know where he was laying his head tonight.

 

Emily sighed, her lips tentatively touching his. Hotch wrapped his arms around her and held her close. She pulled away before he got his fill.

 

“Emily…I need you.”

 

“And then what?” she asked.

 

“I don't know.”

 

She didn’t know what to do. She wanted him and surely wanted him to want her. This wasn’t about sex necessarily, it was about everything. He had to understand that she was not there to be used and discarded. If they were in this together, then they were in it. If not, she may as well go home and get used to being alone again. But she couldn’t leave now…Emily missed him so much.

 

“Just hold on to me.” She whispered into the crook of his neck.

 

“I can't let go.”

 

Even as he said the words, Hotch didn’t know if he could keep them. Everything he touched turned to dust. If anything ever happened to Emily he would crumble. He loved her so much that words would never truly show the extent of his feelings. He didn’t know how it happened but it had. Hotch wanted it to be right but at that moment his whole life was wrong. If he was the one who hurt Emily it would be even worse than the evil getting to her. Letting her go would probably be for her own good. Holding on was selfish and Hotch never thought of himself as a selfish man…until now.

 

“You know what you need?” he asked, still holding her.

 

“What?”

 

“You need a smoke. You need to lean halfway out the window and get a fix.”

 

“I do not lean halfway out the window.” Emily managed a smirk.

 

Hotch actually smiled. It was a little pathetic but it was genuine and it had been a long time since she’d seen it. Emily smiled too and this time when he kissed her, she let him. She ran her fingers through his hair and Hotch sighed in the kiss before deepening it. She pulled him closer, a gasp escaping her lips when they finally broke away from each other.

 

“You want to have that smoke?” he asked.

 

“I…”

 

“What?” It was almost physically painful to separate from her but he did. Hotch started to move toward the kitchen. “Do you want some tea?”

 

“What? Oh, sure.”

 

Hotch nodded, making a move to turn off the alarm before going into the kitchen. Emily dug her cloves, Cherry Vanilla Ziganovs, out of her purse. She went over to the window and opened it. The autumn air felt good on her skin…she didn’t notice until then that she had been overheated.

 

“I have Lady Grey.” Hotch said.

 

“That’s fine.”

 

“Something is wrong.” He came out of the kitchen and looked at her.

 

She hated when he looked at her like that, as if he could see through her. Maybe he could but it damn sure wasn’t fair that he had that ability when all she could see in him right now was shadows and corners.

 

“I'm fine.”

 

“Emily…”  
  
“This isn’t about me.”  
  
 

“What isn’t about you? If we’re in this together then it’s about you. Tell me what's wrong?”

 

“Nothing. Lady Grey sounds fine.”

 

He sighed and returned to the kitchen. He wanted to know what was bothering her but in her defense he had all but ignored her these past three weeks. His mind wasn’t even close to being back and Hotch still wasn’t sure if her being there was even a good idea, but she was and he didn’t want her to shut him out. Damn, he knew what he had done was hurtful but the idea of Emily shutting him out put a rock in the pit of his stomach. When he returned with their tea, he put it on the coffee table and put the alarm back on before joining her by the now closed window. He reached up to secure it.

 

“If I guess what's wrong what do I win?” He asked.

 

“I wish I could say I was happy you were joking around. I am so sorry you're going through this.”

 

“I know.” He took her hand. “You're better to me than I deserve. And I know you're going to say that’s ridiculous because when you love someone you do whatever you can for them. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you but I'm grateful for it. I love you, I want you here, and I just ask you for a little patience.”

 

Emily nodded, squeezing his hand. She was comforted by the weight of it and she held it to her lips and kissed the front and then the inside of his wrist. Hotch closed his eyes, moving closer to her until their hips touched. He slipped his free hand around her waist while he moved in for tender Eskimo kisses.

 

“I love you, Emily Prentiss.” He whispered. “Let me show you…please come with me. I don’t want to be alone.”

 

Resistance was futile; it had been since the beginning. Hotch took both of her hands and walked her into the bedroom. It was about more than sex, it was about everything, Hotch had to make her see that. Their connection was broken…he was desperate to get it back. He needed to feel something before the blackness took over completely. If she loved him, and he was sure that she did, she wanted the same thing. God help them both.

 

***

                                                                                                                                  

  
 


End file.
